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A forgotten promise

October 21, 2008

       This is my first story or short story or whatever we call in fiction. I have given it a try. Don’t know how it came out.   your comments are always welcome.

      As Goutham entered into the home his 10-year old son Avinash excited and ran towards him, as he was returning after a week long conference in his company.

      Goutham was so tired; so many things were running through his mind as his company too facing the pressure of the global economic crisis. Avinash started to search his bag whether he has bought the plane he asked from him. He was disappointed as he couldn’t find anything. “Dad, you promised me that you will get a remote aero plane if I get first mark. I got the first mark. But?” asked Avinash. “Sorry Champ, as dad was too busy during the past week, I am not able to buy it for you” said Goutham. “What dad? I am asking it for so many days but you are not buying it for me” said a disappointed Avinash and started to throw the things here and there. “Next time I will surely get it for you” said Goutham to Avinash, who was in no mood to hear any consolation words from his father. Avinash has thrown some of the office files from the bag. On seeing this, already tired Goutham got angry and slapped his son. Hearing the cry of Avinash, Abirami, Goutham’s wife came out of the kitchen. Before she started to speak, Goutham shouted at her, “Take him away. Already I am so tensed…..”

        Abirami knows Goutham very well that he is not a kind of guy who will show his anger towards the children. So without any other word, Abirami took Avinash to his room and made him to sleep. After having some coffee he was relaxed and started talking to his wife, “Abi, I shouldn’t have done like that.”

           She replied, “But I know you are having problems in the company and as he started disturbing you, you beaten him.”

           “He was just a child. He doesn’t know what is going through the company. I promised him to get that but I didn’t. I am the person to be punished. Instead I have beaten him” said Goutham and continued, “I fear that I may lose the love of my son due to these company problems.” After a moment of thought he got up, taken the car key and moved towards the sleeping son. He just touched him and said slowly, “You will see a responsible father when you awake.”

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. October 22, 2008 1:00 pm

    Nice thoughts Kanagu…for a story, i really cant judge coz I dunno :-(….but I can say, message was clear 🙂

  2. October 22, 2008 3:07 pm

    Good one 🙂 You could’ve added much more twist in the end..

  3. October 22, 2008 7:52 pm

    @Sahaja

    Thank you. One thing I don’t want is preaching something through a story. But when I finished writing this that’s what happened. Maybe in next stories I will be able to overcome it 🙂

    @Manasa

    Welcome to my blog 🙂
    I must have added. But when dealing with relationship I liked it to be straight forward with not much twists. But in near future I like to write story with twist. You can expect it.

  4. October 23, 2008 3:26 am

    nice one… touching…

  5. October 23, 2008 9:55 pm

    @sharad

    Thank you 🙂
    Welcome to my blog. Keep visiting.

  6. October 24, 2008 12:47 pm

    Kanagu,
    I went through so many such disappointments as a child, but I still love my father…actually more than before.

    Remote controlled plane is still my dream. But I am grateful for my father for my education.

    Personally, I think one must not indulge children.

    Looking fwd to new stories.
    Swaps.

  7. October 24, 2008 4:24 pm

    It’s a good start! 🙂 Though you can work more on the narration.

    I loved the message which is given and it is really clear! Keep it up! 🙂

  8. October 24, 2008 6:06 pm

    @swaps
    I too have my disappointments as a child and one incident in my life only inspired me to write this story. I am loving my father very much now than before. I second you on indulging. But If we make a promise to them we must keep up that.
    I like to post new stories and thinking about it 🙂

    @Sakhi

    Thanks for your comments Sakhi 🙂
    I will improve my narration in coming articles.

  9. October 26, 2008 9:34 pm

    After a moment of thought he got up, taken the car key and moved towards the sleeping son. He just touched him and said slowly, “You will see a responsible father when you awake.”

    let me continue ..

    Avinash couldn’t sleep after the disappointments that day and was just pretending to sleep when his father sat on his bed and said that he will be responsible going forward. The very next second after his father uttered that, Avinash jumps out of his bed and into his fathers arms. Goutham took him with both his arms and they both hugged. Goutham asks Avinash if he wants to go for a ride, to which Avinash enthusiastically replies ‘Of course daddy, I love you so much!’

    Goutham and Avinash quickly pack some snacks, drinks and some tennis balls into their bag and start out. Just as Goutham and Avinash are about to leave the house, Goutham’s pager buzzes, the message reads loud and clear ‘CHAIRMEN WANTS TO MEET ALL MANAGERS IN 2 HRS, MAIN CONF ROOM’.

    Goutham knows what that means, that means, he has to be at office in no time, he has to have a discussion with other managers at least half hour before the actual meet the chairmen. The meet with the chairmen is a rarity, it only means one thing, that there is a crisis at office.

    Goutham looks at the message again for 2 minutes and then looks at his son, who is already into the car and is waving enthusiastically for him to come and then without any further hesitation, he switches off the pager and cell phone and jumps into the car and accelerates the car into the road like there is no tomorrow.

    Abirami looks on, heart filled with happiness, she can hear their laughter till they reach the end of the road!

  10. October 28, 2008 7:48 pm

    It’s all in the game between father and son.

  11. October 29, 2008 1:37 am

    @R G
    I never thought like this I liked to finish it off the story without much hiccups. But after reading yours I will surely try to come up with different things in my next story.
    And it is amazing how you are able to continue a story which I started and I thought it’s finished. Great 🙂

    @Alien earthling

    The game were neither of them must lose to keep the relationship going 🙂

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