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5 Minutes

August 2, 2009

As 67-year old Raguram has suddenly awaken during the early hours of the morning, lying on the cot he took his glasses which is on the nearby table and weared it. The room was dimly light with a zero watts bulb. He turned his head to see what the clock reads.

It read 3:55.A.M.

His heart started to beat faster from the moment he woke up. Β Something alarmed him inside, he had closed his eyes, memories are started to flash in his mind…

The day he lost in the crowd of the temple festival held in his village at the age of 4 and found again to see the mixture of joy and tears in his mother’s eyes and not knowing the reason for that,

The first day of school at the age of 5, when he was forced to go to school with his father accompanying him,

Days he has spent with his only sister playing under the tree nearby the lake in their village and fighting for nothing,

The day he learned how to ride the bicycle, the race between his friends and also trying to attract the girls of his village by showing off his riding skills,

the day he found his better half in his PUC, confesseed Β and a fight with both their home to get married,

The first salary of Rs.85 he got and holding the single rupee of it still now (takes that old one rupee in his hand and feels it),

The first touch of his son with his so little finger, when he was born,

The day he started his own business firm and tasted the success,

The day he cried silently, when his son joined in the college and left him for the first time,

The day he become a child again, on the sight of his grandchild,

and the day he left his son and returned back to his own village along with his wife to spend the rest of his life…

Everything seemed to dissolve from his memory.. and he wanted to say the words he always says to his son for one more last time, “Take care”. He took his mobile from the table, found his son’s number and dialled it. As the mobile started to ring, his heartbeat skipped permanently with his eyes stared at the clock,

which now read 4.A.M

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32 Comments leave one →
  1. August 2, 2009 4:42 pm

    first?
    tell me it is true ….

    πŸ˜€

    kanagu: Its true Crafty.. you are first πŸ˜€ Yay πŸ˜€

    • August 2, 2009 4:53 pm

      yipeeeeeeeee danganakka on firendship’s day!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      kanagu: ha ha ha.. dance dance.. let me join you πŸ˜€

  2. August 2, 2009 4:50 pm

    wow kanagu…. i,m speechless really.

    kanagu: Thanks Crafty πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    it’s so simple, yet,
    i just loved it! i know, u have a knack for narration really….work hard on the books u are reading, once u tighten ur hold on grammar, u will be awesome…

    kanagu: I need to absorb more Crafty.. and I am doing it πŸ˜€

    u know, check ur progress…since u read up a lot now, check ur old stories after a month or so, and as time passes, u will find that u can make the needed grammatical corrections in ur own stories, all by urself!

    all the best kanagu!

    kanagu: Will follow your advice and hope I will make progress πŸ˜€ thank you πŸ˜€

    ur thought and rendition is beautiful…everything u expressed, it’s really beautiful!

    hugs!!!!!!!!!! and happy friendship’s day to you!!!

    kanagu: Thanks again and Happy friendship day to you too crafty πŸ˜€
    {{{HUGS}}} πŸ˜€

  3. August 2, 2009 5:00 pm

    Ummm..didnt get it. And why would anyone call someone else at 4 am???? :O

    kanagu: I think I am not clear… here it goes…
    he has known that this was his last moment to say “take care” to his son.. and
    without any second thought he does that

  4. August 2, 2009 5:03 pm

    Oh kanangu very well written,i had tears in my eyes πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Thanks Saritha.. thats a great compliment for me πŸ™‚
    *you are saying tears but laughing* he he he..
    just for fun πŸ˜€

    • August 2, 2009 5:43 pm

      no i meant this 😦 but did this πŸ™‚

      kanagu: πŸ™‚

  5. August 2, 2009 11:39 pm

    Oh my!

    It is fiction, rt?

    kanagu: It’s 75% fiction and 25% real, I think πŸ™‚

  6. August 2, 2009 11:57 pm

    U keep me glued to them! U r just being better than ur best day by day!

    WTG Kanagu! I wish u will be a master of words soon πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Thanks Swaram.. I hope along with becoming master of words.. I will continue to write something
    meaningful πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  7. August 3, 2009 3:24 am

    πŸ˜› master piece dude……………….
    loved the ending πŸ˜›

    kanagu: Thanks Dude πŸ™‚

  8. August 3, 2009 7:26 am

    Very well narrated…How do you come up with these ideas?

    kanagu: Thanks Bones… πŸ™‚
    its an inspiration from real life..

  9. August 3, 2009 9:42 am

    This is a beautiful story!!!!

    Nicely narrated & with ample amount of suspense!!! Loved it πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Thanks Smita πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  10. masood permalink
    August 3, 2009 12:59 pm

    Brilliant!!!

    kanagu: thanks masood πŸ™‚

  11. August 3, 2009 2:03 pm

    wow Kanagu! πŸ™‚

    Brilliant!

    I loved the narrative… those 5 mins were everything to him…
    But, he was still unable to say those 2 words to his beloved son.
    Such is life.

    Very well written. πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Thanks Pixie πŸ™‚

  12. August 3, 2009 2:08 pm

    Machaaan, kalakkitten po !!!! Awesome !!! I lovvved the ending !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    kanagu: Thanks Bro πŸ˜€

  13. August 3, 2009 3:10 pm

    I hate Tragedies 😦

    But tragedies are inseparable in everyone’ lives. That is a bigger tragedy 😦

    kanagu: Nobody loves tragedies.. but they are a part of our lives na 😦

  14. August 3, 2009 3:35 pm

    Good one! πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Thanks Sakhi πŸ™‚

  15. August 3, 2009 5:37 pm

    You are a good narrator, Kanagu! Once again, Congrats. Don’t worry about grammar now. We are able to follow the story. As Crafty said, read a lot and it will help you in the long run.

    You are a good story teller, Kanagu.

    kanagu: Thank you πŸ™‚
    yeah I am trying to avoid my mistakes.. hope I get rid of them soon πŸ™‚

  16. August 3, 2009 5:42 pm

    well written … It looks like tragedy is the order of the day … πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰

    kanagu: Thanks Harsh.. πŸ™‚
    mey be πŸ˜‰

  17. August 3, 2009 5:58 pm

    nice story:) …..you pictured the thoughts(may be final moments…if i’m wrong pls correct me) of a person awaiting death beautifully πŸ™‚ …..kudos 2 U 4 maintaining the suspense
    in between belated friendship day wishes πŸ™‚

    kanagu: He is awaiting dead.. you are correct anish πŸ™‚
    thanks for the wishes and wishing the same to you πŸ™‚

  18. August 4, 2009 3:35 am

    hey good one.. really nice story.. is this about someone you know?

    kanagu: Thanks AK.. πŸ™‚
    yes.. 😦

  19. August 4, 2009 11:06 pm

    Beautiful Kanagu!!! Heartbreaking and beautiful!!!

    kanagu: Thanks IHM πŸ™‚

    You should write more fiction!

    kanagu: I am trying πŸ™‚ hope I will get more ideas πŸ™‚

  20. August 5, 2009 5:44 am

    Nicely written touching story.Keep up πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Thanks Saranya πŸ™‚

  21. August 5, 2009 12:03 pm

    well-written!! πŸ™‚ i like the way the narrative flows… and ends abruptly… gives an eerie feeling…
    and there r so many unexplained parts in it…which leaves so much to the readers’ imagination… nice! keep it coming!

    kanagu: Thanks Ash πŸ™‚

  22. August 7, 2009 3:23 pm

    Nice one dude… sry for not visting ur blog frm long.. was really busy with things.. will read all ur post.. but not sure if I can comment on all…

    btw.. did u mean he knew he was dying??

    kanagu: No problem dude πŸ™‚ thanks for reading all my posts πŸ™‚

    thanks dude… and yes, he was dying

  23. August 8, 2009 6:39 pm

    May be that’s how we would feel when we die too! The feelings were captured very well. Simple but powerful style of writing.

    Destination Infinity

    kanagu: Thanks DI πŸ™‚

  24. August 13, 2009 4:55 pm

    Kanagu, That was amazing! You had me hooked till the end.. They do say, don’t they – your whole life flashes by… You certainly have a knack for stories.. It was really really good.

  25. August 13, 2009 6:21 pm

    this is the first time i’ve entered on your blog.I found it very interactive and i like your posts, congratulations.

  26. February 2, 2010 11:05 am

    Kanagu, thats one amazing way to tell the story of a man’s life. Very well done. Deserve to be nominated. Congrats. πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Thank you.. thank you.. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  27. February 4, 2010 7:33 pm

    Awesome πŸ™‚

    kanagu: Welcome here Roopa.. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    thank you πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Trackbacks

  1. My nomination list – 2 « Straight Drive
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  3. Final Nominations in Avant Garde Bloggies Awards – 2009 « Visceral Observations

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