Osama analyzes Obama – The O effect

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[All the conversations and dialogues spoken below words are originally in Arabic. For the convenience of the readers they have been translated in English]

 

11^th July, 2010 12:30 PM

The TV reporter of Al-Jazeera announced (with a happy and flushed face), “I am very pleased to announce that after a very long absence, our very own Osama Bin Laden is going to be on air in a short while from now. He has decided to come out of hiding, so he can share a very important analysis with you – a path-breaking analysis on the functioning about the current US president Barack Hussein Obama. So tune back in at 7:30 PM tonight”. The ‘Breaking News’ began to flash on the news crawler with increased frequency throughout the afternoon. 

 

11^th July, 2010 19:30 PM

The Al-Jazeera TV flashed Osama’s face first then it moved slightly to the left to make way for the news title – ‘Osama analyzes Obama – The O effect’

At the right hand bottom of the screen the time and date were flashed as 05/11/2008 06.11.23…..

There were 8 members who were said to be the founders of the Al-Qaeda group. They sat in an orderly manner with Osama at the centre of the group (3 to his left and 4 to his right). Osama looked somber. His face radiated a strange glow (some people would call it eerie). Without further delay, he said, “Inshah Allah” and everybody reiterated the same.

“My brothers – we are present today to discuss the new American president-to-be, Barack Obama. As you know, we the servants of Muslim religion, fully realize the power wielded by the American president on issues plaguing Palestine, Iraq and many other Muslim countries. Now, I am rather convinced that he is a better candidate than John Mcgain and that the Democratic Party is far better than Republic Party”

“But – Irrespective of WHO the American president is, they are all ENEMIES of Muslims” spoke the second white turbaned man on the right.

“Let us not be emotional now! Let us analyse why we can accept this man. As I see it, he is the American president, who is actually capable of thinking or doing something good for our people”, said Osama.

Everybody in the studio and the panel, shuffled uneasily at Osama’s stance. They dared not oppose him openly though. So they kept silent and listened to what he had to say.

“First – Obama was a Muslim by birth. Did you know that? This means that he will have that inner feeling of goodwill for OUR people….” said Osama. Before he could continue, another man interrupted him nervously “It is a well-known fact that a child spends more time with his mother. Has Obama been a ‘practising Muslim’? His current religion is Christianity! Given all this, how can we expect him to do good for us?”

Osama thought for a second, and replied quietly – “No, I don’t think so. Though the mother teaches the child many things, the father also has a pivotal role to play. I myself have got lot of values from my father. Obama lived in Indonesia – one of the largest populated Muslim countries in the world. Surely, he must have a soft corner for Islam.”

A young man raised his hand confidently. ‘Osama – We accept your ideology – We agree that his background is Muslim – But TODAY, the fact is that he is an American citizen. And has converted himself to Christianity. Do you really believe we can trust him?’

“Certainly, you know that he is an Afro-American. His race has always been handed rough treatment in American history. If you observe his activities as Illinois state governor, he has implemented racial profiling – which means that the race of the drivers detained by the police should be recorded thereby preventing the illegal use of the power by the police. He has been the first one to implement it. And note this very carefully – in his election manifesto – he said that he will withdraw the American troops from Iraq soon”

“Okay! But what about his statement on increasing the troops in Afghanistan?” a rather stout panel member asked.

@Islam is our Life, our Goal. We will do what is BEST for Islam. At this juncture, I believe we need peace. We need to watch every move of Obama’s. And only then decide on further course of action. For now, I have decided to withdraw all our militants from Afganistan. We are not going to attack any of the US soldiers or their properties. I am going to provide 3 years for Obama to prove himself by not taking any harsh decisions against our community. Some people may think that we FEAR America and are in hiding. But the truth is known to all of us. We only do what is best for Islam. Inshah Allah” said Osama.

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With a black-out for few seconds, next video starts … 

This time only Osama picture was there and only his voice was heard. He went on to say, “Inshah Allah. Just now heard Obama’s presidential speech and I am glad that he has ordered the closing down of the Guantanamo bay prison which is one of the nightmares. Though I would personally suggest that he keeps it open, so he can send George W.Bush for all the atrocities committed by him.

Also I like his attitude of keeping the presidential records open by reducing the secrecy given to the records. Now we can see a lot of things being planned more carefully including the attacks being carried out on other nations.

As he promised he is about to end the war in Iraq by withdrawing his troops with in August 2010 which is a welcome news as our people in Iraq can live a better life without any fear.

I have to admit another thing. His speech is sensational which binds everybody’s attention on him.”

A slight murmur was heard at the background, “Looks like Osama is going to do free propaganda for Obama.”

Osama continued, “I wish the same happens in the Afghanistan also. Inshah Allah.”

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After another black-out, the next video starts…

Again only the picture of the Osama was shown with his voice is aired. “Inshah Allah. Obama completed his 100 days as American president yesterday. Congratulations to him. I must say this guy is quite concerned about the environment too unlike his predecessors. I like his orders to the department of Transportation – to improve the fuel efficiency for the models being released from 2011 thereby he does what all he can to reduce the fuel consumption instead of looting from the Muslim countries.

He also signed a law called Lily Ledbetter fair pay act which allows the fair pay to all the people in his country irrespective of gender, race and age which is a good one as many Muslims in America will surely get benefitted. But I don’t like the ways his troops are behaving in Iraq as there are lot of people were being killed. I think for the betterment he should withdraw all of their troops immediately without further delay.

Inshah Allah”

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Another black-out, next video starts…

Only a photograph featuring Osama and he started to speak.

“Congratulations to Obama on completing a year as American President!! As announced in my earlier video we didn’t trouble his troops in anyway. He too is doing well in lending a hand of friendship to the followers of Islam – which we greatly appreciate.

I myself approve his speech he delivered on June 4^th, 2009 in Egypt. I liked his call for the between Palestine and Israel which is missed in the previous American president tenures. Even though he took the side of supporting Israel which is more because of the foreign policy of the Americans for a long time, he also worried about Palestine which is still in an indecisive state.

Another important point made by him was accepting the role of United States in the overthrow of the democratically elected Iran government during cold war days. Surely it needs some courage to admit to in front of the world. Courage, he certainly has!

Inshah Allah”

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Another black-out for few seconds and Osama showed himself on the screen alone. Date stamp: 10^th July 2010, 20:17.675…..

This time – it was not his photograph – it was Osama himself – for real!

“Inshah Allah. Brothers, I believe you have understood my current stand on America and why we are not indulging in warfare. Until now, we fought, because we believed that was God’s order to protect and improve the living conditions of our people. But now with Obama in-charge of American policy towards Muslim countries and Islam, I believe good times lie ahead of us.

Obama’s actions over the past one year reaffirm that belief. That however, does not mean I will approve of whatever Obama does. I will closely monitor his actions on our world. If something were to go wrong somewhere, you can be assured that we will act – immediately. But for now, it is time for PEACE.

 Inshah Allah”

Osama closed his eyes and looked towards the sky to pray to his god. The show ends with the program’s title flashing again ‘Osama analyzes Obama – The O effect’.

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